Friday, June 30, 2017

How a gust of wind sent me on a brief emotional roller coaster

This morning, on my walk, it was windy, and I noticed a bunch of leaves come off the trees. It instantly triggered anxiety in me because leaves falling off trees means fall is coming and fall means winter is coming, and I've lived with seasonal (winter) depression for a decade. 

Every single year, winter would take me down. Some years were better than others, but every one was hard. Over the years, I saw the pattern and knew what was coming, which was its own curse. When you know the next five months are going to destroy all the happiness you've made for yourself, it really takes the wind out of your sails. Eventually, the dread started to build as soon as spring began because I only had a limited time to come out of my deep winter rut and feel like myself again, plus store good feelings and memories to help prop me up through the next winter. While I started to feel anxiety year-round because of it, the underlying panic would start in the fall. Every year, I told myself, "This one is going to be better. I'm determined to make it so." But it was still the same, and I began to feel hopeless and powerless. 


All of that came to me when I saw those leaves tumbling downforshadowing the seasons ahead. It was really weird how such a benign thing could affect me so strongly. And then I remembered that I'm home, and it won't be like that anymore. I remembered that here, wintry days are mild and temporary, and that after a long summer, fall is a breath of fresh air, not something to be afraid of. Falling leaves are okay. I'm where I belong.

2 comments:

  1. عزيزى العميل اهلا ومرحبا بك فى موقع مؤسسة الحرمــين للمقاولات العامة والعوازل
    شركه عزل فوم بالاحساء و الرياض
    الموقع الرائد فى عالم الخدمات المنزليه والاول بالمملكه العربيه السعوديه لما يتمتع به من خدمات مميزه ، فالبرغم من اننا مؤسسه ربحيه الا ان مزاولة نشاطتنا
    كلها مرتبط على نحو وثيق بتلبية طلبات وحاجات عملائنا ولتحقيق ذلك الهدف نقدم لك كافة الخدمات الشامله بالالتزام الصارم وبأرقى المعايير المهنيه المتطوره
    فلدينا خبره طويله فى مجال مكافحة الحشرات والكشف عن التسربات وتسليك المجارى وعزل الاسطح وترميم وصيانه المنازل وتخزينه بكفاءة منقطعة النظير ، لا تتردد واتصل
    بموقع مؤسسة الحرمــين فخدماتنا ليس لها بديل واسعارنا ليس لها مثيل ،ولدينا فريق عمل يتصل مع العملاء على جسور الثقه
    والصدق والامانه فى العمل ، وهدفنا هو ارضاؤك وراحتك ، لا تقلق ونحن معك
    لا تجهد نفسك ونحن تحت امرك ورهن اشارتك .
    أبرز خدمات مؤسسة الحرمــين للمقاولات العامة بالدمام والرياض

    شركه عزل فوم بالدمام

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