Friday, April 11, 2014

How to Create a Successful Tinder Profile

When I heard about Tinder, I thought it sounded like the most superficial thing in the world.

Well, about a month ago, I decided I'd at least give it a shot. I have to say, my opinion has changed. It seems like it's actually a pretty useful app that can help people meet. Particularly for introverts, it's a comfortable place to start. Plus, when you match you automatically know that you're attracted to each other, and though attraction is not the top priority in a relationship, it's pretty important. So before you even talk, you both know you have at least that going for you.

Unfortunately, when it comes to Tinder, it seems there are some people just looking for something superficial and stupid, but I think (at least hope) most people are genuinely open to something bigger and better.

If you're one of those on Tinder not just to mess around or boost your self confidence with a plethora of matches, but you're legitimately open to starting a relationship, I've come up with a few (okay, several) tips to help out your profile.

  • Make your first photo a good picture of only you. Don't put up a picture of your abs, you and your friends, you in the far-off distance, you wearing a mask, you making an ugly face, or you doing something nutty. You have more leeway with the rest of your pictures, but even so, don't go too crazy with the photos.
Wait, I have no idea which one is you. Plus I can't see your face.
  • Don't put any pictures up that aren't you. I don't need to see a landscape from that one time you went hiking or the sunset at a beach. I'm here to get to know you, so put up ones that tell me something about you. If you don't have six good pictures of you, put up three. If you don't have three photos of yourself, then you really need to take more pictures.
  • Don't put up pictures of you being close with someone of the opposite sex. It looks like you're dating someone, even though clearly you're not since you're on Tinder.

  • Don't make all of your pictures shots of you doing something crazy. Skiing, wakeboarding, skydiving, whatever. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like the majority of guys are crazy outdoorsy around here, and that's the only side of them I see on Tinder. Not that I don't like outdoorsiness, but I'd like to see more than that. Put up a variety of photos that show different parts of who you are!
  • Avoid bathroom selfies. If you must take a bathroom selfie, at least make sure the mirror and counter are clean.
  • Just say no to gym selfies. Who takes pictures of themselves at the gym?? And on that note, don't dwell on your muscles, unless you want a girl that only cares about your muscles. I haven't seen girls' profiles, but I'm guessing they often do similar shots of their bodies. Just, no.

  • Use good quality photos. If you've zoomed in so much that the photo is grainy, don't use it. And noticeably cropping someone out of a photo is bad form.
  • Write a bio! This is the biggest sin I see on Tindereither no bio or something lame like the following:
    • Using a famous quote.
    • Quoting a random line from a movie. 
    • Giving their Instagram username. I didn't even know that many guys used Instagram, let alone wanted strangers to be all up in their business. 
    • "Just ask me what you want to know." I call that lazy. You should at least say something about yourself. 
    • "No one ever reads these." Um, yeah, we do! At least I do.
Tinder has this reputation for being extremely superficial, and when nobody writes a bio, no wonder! We're judging whether we're interested in each other based solely on photos. So let's write bios. If you write an intriguing bio, it can be a great conversation starter for when you get a match. 
You can tell a lot about a person by what they write, so here are some tips on writing a good bio.
    • Use correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Some people seem to think that correctness in language is inconsequential. It's not (especially to me). It's important for clear and intelligent communication. If your bio is one huge run-on or it doesn't make any sense, I can already tell that chatting with you will be torture. And if you're over 20 and still don't know the difference between your and you're, seriouslyit's time to figure it out.
    • Don't talk about how much you love working out. You sound like just a jock.
    • Don't be boring. Don't say "I love my family. I like sports. I love hiking and talking to my friends." First of all, almost everyone likes those things. Give yourself some life, man! Find a way to communicate the essence of who you are. If you're funny, show it by writing a bio that makes people laugh. Don't just say you're funny. That's super duper lame. Some things can't be communicated in a bio, so just don't try. For instance, there's no constructive way to say you're a good listener. It's something you just figure out later.

    • Take some time on your bio. You don't have to write it in two minutes. You can take twenty if you want to. Potentially hundreds of people are going to see it; you should take the time to make it worth reading.
    • The bio is a great place to disclose important information. In my area it's common to put "LDS" or "non-LDS" since typically, people are looking for one or the other. It would probably be good to mention if you have a kid too. The big things.
Perhaps if Tinder users represent themselves well and reserve their right swipes for people they could legitimately be interested in (and not just to see if that guy/girl swiped right too), this app would be more useful to people than it seems to be currently.

Hopefully you got something out of my thoughts here.

Over and out.

Oh wait! P.S. hopefully this is a "duh" moment for you, but when you actually meet Tinder people, do so in public place; safety first. And don't get addicted to the app. Like any other piece of technology, remember its usefulness and use it for a good purpose.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Jimmy Fallon Has It All

Have you been around me lately? If so, you've probably heard "I looooove Jimmy Fallon" come out of my mouth. Since he started on The Tonight Show, I haven't missed a single episode.

As opposed to many other shows, Jimmy's is uplifting. He doesn't go out on the street to embarrass random people. He doesn't parade around someplace making himself a nuisance. He doesn't get laughs at the expense of children. It seems like he generally tries to stay away from anything dirty. I don't know about you, but that's a huge plus for me!

Okay, can we talk about his talent for a second? Jimmy is not only a gifted singer, dancer, and comedian (and harmonicanist?), he's incredibly upbeat (and not in an annoying "seriously just stop" kind of way).

Plus, he's smart, humble, and gracious. Seriously, he's the whole package. I hope you notice the way he puts all of his guests at ease. He laughs constantly, he plays off of his co-host, and he plays little spontaneous games with his band. The show is fast paced, and he rolls with the unexpected punches of his guests. And! He's pretty much up for anything, whether getting soaked in a game of Water War, suiting up in Velcro for Sticky Balls, or donning a wig, dress, and braces and talking like a teenage girl.

Oh, one more thing: he can keep a pretty straight face, which is fantastic, but he also breaks character all the time, which makes him so loveable. He's so comfortable on the stage, you can't help but feel happy watching his show! On top of it all, Jimmy finds a way to constantly keep the show fresh. I don't think a week has gone by since the show started that one of his YouTube videos wasn't trending on Facebook.

The show is hilarious, and it doesn't get old. I just love that Jimmy Fallon.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

How to Talk to Someone Who's Venting

When someone's venting to you, their emotional state is somewhat compromised. They are seeking relief. They just want to let some words fly out of their mouth, and they want you to listen. You should take this as a compliment when someone vents to you because:

a) they see you as a deep enough friend they can trust you won't judge them for their (perhaps irrational) behavior
b) they know that you can handle them at a slightly ugly moment
c) they believe that they will find relief by talking to you

Rants can be about silly things like someone standing in a crowded doorway, the computer glitch that's giving you a twitch, or the fact that your neighbor just put a swing set in their front lawn. OR it could be something bigger like how your boss has been treating you like a nuisance or your mother-in-law invited herself over for 16th time this month. Whether it's big or small, we all need validation sometimes.

So you're talking to someone who's venting.

Rule #1 is DON'T TALK. Do you not completely understand what your friend is trying to express? Do you want to ask some clarifying questions? Don't!!! At least not in the heat of the venting session. If you must, ask one. But that's ALL! A person who is venting is upset, angry, or simply annoyed. They don't want to be interrupted, so if you interrupt, it. had. better. be. good. Interruptions only tend to frustrate the venter more, and if that happens, they might just shut up and bottle up their feelings. Trust me, you don't want that.

Rule #2, keep eye contact. This shows that you're listening and that you care about their feelings.

Rule #3, do not exacerbate the situation. Some people tend to reciprocate the mood of others. If you respond to someone who's venting by venting in return, it's a recipe for stress. Rather than talk loudly, quickly, and excitedly with the person, just listen. Calmly nodding in understanding can diffuse a tense situation.

Rule #4, wait. It might take a little while for your friend to get her feet back on the ground, but she will soon enough. Don't rush her. Rushing her might make her feel like you weren't listening in the first place or that you don't care about how she's feeling. She won't feel validated. So just wait. She'll get there, and if you just give her a little time, she'll feel so much better, and your friendship will be stronger.

Rant over. ;-) Thanks for reading.