tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178877053389182282024-03-13T19:57:13.579-07:00 Happiness on a WindowsillHolly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-32528891554277775432019-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:002019-03-20T11:17:37.769-07:00Random Editor Thoughts<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="11u79" data-offset-key="fg0ad-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">One of the most common things I come across as an editor are incomplete sentences that don't have any coherent meaning (often coupled with incorrect punctuation). There will be a grouping of words that make sense together in a vague context, but the words lack distinct meaning, especially for those who are not as fluent in the topic as you are. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For instance, the above sentences could have been like this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Common thing to come across, incomplete sentences - no coherent meaning. Group some words together for a broad idea of thought but no real meaning especially for people who don't know as much.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One paragraph is clear; the other, chaotic.</span></div>
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Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-48942378556273532102017-06-30T13:19:00.000-07:002017-06-30T13:19:31.172-07:00How a gust of wind sent me on a brief emotional roller coaster<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;">This morning, on my walk, it was windy, and I noticed a bunch of leaves come off the trees. It instantly triggered anxiety in me because leaves falling off trees means fall is coming and fall means winter is coming, and I've lived with seasonal (winter) depression for a decade. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;">Every single year, winter would take me down. Some years were better than others, but every one was hard. Over the years, I saw the pattern and knew what was coming, which was its own curse. When you know the next five months are going to destroy all the happiness you've made for yourself, it really takes the wind out of your sails. Eventually, the dread started to build as soon as spring began because I only had a limited time to come out of my deep winter rut and feel like myself again, plus store good feelings and memories to help prop me up through the next winter. While I started to feel anxiety year-round because of it, the underlying panic would start in the fall. Every year, I told myself, "This one is going to be better. I'm determined to make it so." But it was still the same, and I began to feel hopeless and powerless. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eOMNFF89Tao/WVasjGI1q2I/AAAAAAAAUsQ/sRMg2q6jdp86ybq2xJaxIbMrIM_4hlHdgCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/ThankYou.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="335" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eOMNFF89Tao/WVasjGI1q2I/AAAAAAAAUsQ/sRMg2q6jdp86ybq2xJaxIbMrIM_4hlHdgCK4BGAYYCw/s400/ThankYou.png" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;">All of that came to me when I saw those leaves tumbling down</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">—</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 16px;">forshadowing the seasons ahead. It was really weird how such a benign thing could affect me so strongly. And then I remembered that I'm home, and it won't be like that anymore. I remembered that here, wintry days are mild and temporary, and that after a long summer, fall is a breath of fresh air, not something to be afraid of. Falling leaves are okay. I'm where I belong.</span>Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-48024968209613939622017-03-05T11:01:00.001-08:002017-03-23T10:29:57.670-07:00DivorceMy posts have been sparse over the past couple of years. I've been truly overwhelmed.<br />
<br />
Starting January 2015, I became quite depressed after losing my job and trying to find a new one while I was struggling with my annual SAD (seasonal affective disorder). In February, my grandmother died. In March, I got engaged. In April, I started a new job. In May, I moved. I basically planned my wedding by myself. In July, my dad had open-heart surgery with a difficult recovery, and I started having bad back problems. In August, I got married. In October, I was so depressed, I finally saw a therapist. In November, I saw a doctor for my depression. In January 2016 I was feeling a bit suicidal. In March, I experienced emotional trauma, and I got on an anti-depressant. I took a 3-week sabbatical because I simply could not continue as things were. I also had debilitating stomach problems. In April, my trauma grew. I also made big boundary changes in my life. In July, I got on a stronger anti-depressant. In October, I had hip surgery. In November, I separated from my husband. In December, I lost my job. In January, we filed for divorce, and I moved to Texas. Last month, on Valentine's Day (ironic), it became final. And throughout all this time, I have been to countless appointments with many doctors to help me fix my painful back/hip problems, none of which have been successful. Plus, I have had a continual stream of breakdowns because I have been in a constant state of stress.<br />
<br />
It's been a whirlwind of trials and determination, "love" and heartbreak, hope and fear, weakness and strength, stress and survival.<br />
<br />
Really, just survival.<br />
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I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this. It seems like any time I read a blog post that begins with something really ugly or sad, it ends with a positive lesson learned. I honestly feel like I don't really have one to offer. Despite my innate clairvoyance, I still entered into a marriage that was doomed to fail from the beginning. I don't know that there's much of anything I could have done to prevent it. And I know there's nothing I could have done to repair it. I simply couldn't have known. And if that's the case, why would God allow me to marry someone in the temple when he knew that marriage was going to fail? Isn't temple marriage sacred? Why didn't he tell me not to marry him? I asked him to tell me if it really wasn't right. Can I trust God with my major life decisions? I don't feel like I can now. What does that mean? Was my depression so severe already at that point that I could not receive God's word? Is that even a thing? I mean, God is omnipotent, right? He can break through the walls of depression, right? Why would he allow me to go through the torture of a terrible marriage on top of depression? Why would he not show up (at least in a way I could recognize) in my time of greatest need? Is there meaning in everything, or does life just happen and we have to deal with it? What am I supposed to learn from all this?<br />
<br />
I don't have the answers, and frankly, I'm driving myself crazy trying to find them.<br />
<br />
So for now, I'm just going to try (and trust me, it's going to be a struggle) to be positive and patient and enjoy the good moments and be grateful for what I have. And I'm going to write them right here, right now so that I can come back to them when I need a reminder. I may also add to the list as I go along.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>A family I can count on</li>
<li>A family that doesn't make me feel like a burden while they're serving me</li>
<li>A dad who spent an entire weekend flying, packing, loading, and driving me to Texas</li>
<li>A mother who so patiently listens and talks to me and, most amazingly, understands me</li>
<li>Modern technology so we can communicate anytime</li>
<li>A comfortable house to come home to with loving parents who are still together</li>
<li>Brothers and sisters who are kind and thoughtful</li>
<li>An education</li>
<li>Savings</li>
<li>Supportive friends</li>
<li>Good visiting teachers</li>
<li>Enough self esteem and wisdom to walk away from a bad marriage</li>
<li>That divorce is an option</li>
<li>The blessing I got from my brother at Christmas</li>
<li>The chance to finally move home to Texas</li>
<li>That I only have to get in a car instead of a plane to visit anyone in my family</li>
<li>The option I have of just taking a break for a second while I get back on track</li>
<li>Anti-depressants</li>
<li>Warm winter weather</li>
<li>Blooming flora</li>
<li>The chance to begin again</li>
</ol>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-10106663557809843762017-01-25T18:49:00.001-08:002017-01-25T18:49:03.525-08:00The Floof<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This is SUPER late (since I got her over a year ago), but say hello to my kitty, The Floof. She is just over two years old now, and I got her from the Humane Society of Utah. She is cuddly, quiet, playful, and she growls like a dog sometimes. It's actually really adorable. She also loves to scare me, chirp at me, jump in boxes, and play with any type of toy. The hair on her tail is extra long, so when she's scared, her tail becomes this giant feather-duster-looking thing. It's amazing. She's also the reason there is a black cat in my blog banner now. We're moving (driving) to Texas this weekend, so wish us luck! I'm hoping she'll handle the trip well.</div>
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<br />Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-12695037193185249572016-02-07T19:19:00.000-08:002016-02-07T19:19:08.894-08:00On Weddings and Thank You NotesLately I've been thinking about gratitude, especially as it relates to wedding presents.<br />
<br />
First, a brief history lesson from <a href="http://www.postconsumers.com/education/history-of-wedding-gifts/">postconsumers.com</a>:
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The wedding gift craze as we know it . . . really began in 1928.
That’s the year that retail giant Macy’s had the brilliant marketing
idea of introducing the wedding gift registry. . . . And at first, the wedding
gift registry did make some sense. In most cases, couples had not lived
together before marriage and married at an age when they had yet to
accrue most items that they would need in a shared household. The
gift-giving tradition was aimed at helping them to get started in their
new home.</blockquote>
So basically, people compassionately gave young couples gifts so their homes could function because they often didn't have anything to their names! What a lovely and selfless tradition.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, things have changed over the years.<br />
<br />
Kyle and I got married in August, and we heard more than one comment about how inviting more people equals more gifts. Kind of a tacky thing to say, even if it's true. And hearing that made me kind of not want to give wedding gifts to anyone anymore. As a wedding guest, am I merely a dollar sign? Or am I loved one invited to their special day, who is free to give a gift out of love and the kindness of my heart? Hmm.<br />
<br />
In the end, we did get lots of presents.<br />
<br />
And we were so grateful for them. I was sort of stunned with people's generosity. We got so many kitchen and home items I'd been needing or wanting super badly! Plus, we got gift cards and cash that allowed us to buy some other things we needed. It was fantastic and definitely made our home more of a home. The fact that so many went to the trouble of spending their hard-earned money on us made me feel pretty special.<br />
<br />
And that's why I can't understand why it doesn't seem traditional anymore to say "thank you." The last five couples I've given wedding presents to haven't bothered to say any sort of thank you for my gift. Not even a Facebook message. Absolutely nothing!<br />
<br />
I think it's pretty atrocious.<br />
<br />
Maybe they think, "Ah, she knows I'm grateful for it! I don't need to tell her." Maybe they don't even bother to look at who gave them the gift. Who knows? All I know is that an in-person "thank you!" or handwritten thank you note for a thoughtful gift is the very least a new couple could do.<br />
<br />
Just think of it. Someone buys you a $20 (oftentimes more) gift on your list (or not on your list—it doesn't matter), wraps it up, writes a card, and brings it to you or has it sent right to your door. You can't take 2 minutes to write a handwritten note expressing your appreciation and then mailing it with a 50-cent stamp? Really??<br />
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My hesitation to give wedding gifts because of the greedy gift-getting mentality has grown even more with this lack of gratitude.<br />
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I know wedding shenanigans and a honeymoon and setting up your lives together is time consuming and stressful—oh, how I know it—but showing your gratitude should never be given up for lack of time. Even if the thank you is a month late, it's still appreciated.<br />
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So to my single friends, keep this in mind for when your big day comes: please don't have an attitude of entitlement. Saying thank you will NEVER go out of style.<br />
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Stay classy, my friends.Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-37813495804507484522016-01-01T12:14:00.000-08:002019-01-10T07:09:36.570-08:00Depression is a Silent Beast<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some (not-so) breaking news</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some of you already know, and some of you probably suspect that I've been struggling with depression. The truth is a lot of people are. Trust me, a ton of your friends struggle with it. It's very common, and it's a quiet disease.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression: an overview</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It may be quiet to you, but to us it is the constant or exceedingly frequent downpour of loud negative thoughts and feelings. There are varying degrees of depression, and if you asked any of your friends that deal with it they would tell you it can be a bit erratic. Sometimes you're managing fine, and sometimes you just want to cease to exist<span style="font-family: inherit;">. </span>Sometimes you want nothing else but to be alone, but other times it's so lonely. It's wanting people to understand, but not wanting anyone to know. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When it's really bad, it is battling your own mind every waking moment. For me, when it is at its worst, it's an excruciating unhappiness/emptiness where I'm feeding myself an endless stream of harmful thoughts, sobbing so hard I can barely breathe and I feel like my lungs are going to collapse, and I find absolutely no solace in anything</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">not friends, not family, not talking, not serving, not socializing, not watching movies, not reading scriptures. The only hope I have for any peace at that point is unconsciousness. Sleep is the only respite</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">if I can even fall asleep through the storm of negativity. And even when that episode is over, it was so hurtful and exhausting it takes days and/or a lot of coaxing to get back to "normal." </span>Before or after an episode like this happens, I turn off all feeling so I can cope.<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"> </span><span style="text-align: center;">It is lonely. It is debilitating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And <b>I hate it.</b></span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression and spite</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I hate depression so much, sometimes I do things to spite it. For example, one night there was a party. I had agreed to go weeks earlier, but my day was flipped upside down by a little spat with Kyle, and I really didn't want to go. (My emotions can be flipped from alright to super bad at the drop of a dime.) But I was tired of feeling lonely, and I wanted to follow through with my plans. I refused to let depression control me. I wanted to go with Kyle originally, but I went alone instead. I lied about why he wasn't there. I lied about how I was doing. I smiled and laughed and I tricked a fraction of myself into thinking I was having fun. Me with a healthy mind would have had fun. I love those friends. I miss them.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression is isolating</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My friends don't know that I miss them because I don't reach out. I don't reach out because I'd rather be alone. I'd rather be alone because I feel terrible, and I am uncomfortable sharing that fact, or I just don't want to. I don't like dwelling on my own misery. What does it help?? I have always felt like the Debbie Downer, and I really, REALLY don't want to be that person. But I also don't want to pretend I'm happy and fine when I'm absolutely not, so it's always easier to just stay away from people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes I really worry that my friends will think I'm not interested in their friendship anymore by the way I act. I try not to stress too much about that.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression is irrational</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Last winter was a very depressive time for me. Baking was one thing I found that gave me purpose and made me feel good. One day, I decided to make a pie. I started making the crust, which needs vinegar. I knew I had some but I couldn't find it anywhere. It wasn't where I had seen it the day before. I LOST IT. I folded onto the ground and sobbed my eyes out. Is it normal or okay to have a meltdown over vinegar? No. Did I know that? Yes. Could I control it? No.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Recently, I've been emailing a couple of girls who also struggle with depression. I told one of them about this story, and she told me about a similar baking experience she had, and that now she makes sure to buy extra ingredients for anything, just in case. I do the same thing, whether for baking or anything else in my life. I always try to account for any possible surprises and hiccups. It's about keeping control. We grasp for the little control we have.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression is overwhelming</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For me, it's been something I've been able to manage alone somewhat successfully for years, but I just have so much going on right now, I honestly cannot handle it. I'm lucky to still have a job. And the only reason I have a job is that I am extremely disciplined and I can, for the most part, put my emotions aside for work. I know if I lost my job, it would be catastrophic to my psyche, so I do my best to not put it in jeopardy. However, I won't lie</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have cried at work more than once.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression is foggy/indecisive</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We're just muddling through our days sometimes. Our brains get all foggy. </span>It's hard to recall things<span style="line-height: 21px;">—</span>things that should be simple to remember. <span style="font-family: inherit;">It makes it hard to think straight when we're asked a question. Sometimes it's almost impossible to make even the simplest decisions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Where should we go for dinner<span style="line-height: 21px;">—</span>Zupa's or Cafe Rio? *paralysis*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Lately I have been talking to so many doctors, and they are constantly asking me questions. When did ___ start? Do you ever feel ___? How about ___? How would you describe ___? How would you rate ___? What is ___? Does this hurt? How about this? Do you feel better? Sometimes I just want to yell, "Oh, for heaven's sake! I don't KNOW!" I spend so much time trying not to think about how I feel so I can survive that I honestly don't know the answer to many of these questions. Frankly, it freaks me out that I don't have the answers.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Depression breeds guilt</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We feel guilty a lot of the time. We have so much to be grateful for, yet we're still unhappy. We know it's not right, so we feel guilty about it. We get the message at church that if we just had enough faith</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">if we just prayed</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">our problems would go away, but they often don't, so it must be our fault, so we feel guilty. We don't want to hang out with our friends, and we feel bad about that. </span>We feel guilty for not performing as well at work as we know we are capable of. <span style="font-family: inherit;">We get abnormally <span style="font-family: inherit;">upset</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> when things don't go the way we planned. Then we feel guilty for having lashed out. In relationships, we feel guilty for not reciprocating</span>—for <span style="font-family: inherit;">not loving like we should. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;">Plus, we f<span style="font-family: inherit;">eel guilty for being a<span style="font-family: inherit;">n emoti<span style="font-family: inherit;">onal <span style="font-family: inherit;">black hole to</span> those we love. </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We stop caring in general, and we feel bad about that. </span></span></span></span>Perhaps<span style="font-family: inherit;"> w</span></span>e
can't function in our calling and have to say "Will you please release
me?" We then feel guilty for "quitting" instead of serving.</span> For any single individual, the list could go on and on. And it never helps when on top of your own condemning judgments of yourself, others heap theirs as well. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We want help</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We want help, but we're terrified of being vulnerable because we already are always. And if we are rejected or ignored after asking for help, it's crushing. So deep down we hope someone will magically figure it out and help us. I am desperately seeking love, kindness, and help, but I shrug people off when they try. It's such a paradox. It could be because I don't believe they can help, I don't trust they have good intentions, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to be patronized, I don't want to seem needy, I don't want to be a burden or have people say unkind things about me behind my back, etc. So I am really good at deceiving people and making people think I'm just fine.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We have happy facades</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In order to survive, I have to trick myself into thinking I'm ok most of the time. In so doing, I trick others too. Even after telling someone how I'm truly doing, it's so easy for them to forget or assume things have gotten better because of this facade. Don't let the mask deceive you; it is a coping mechanism.</span><br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">People romanticize death when they are actually suicidal</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I recently came across a post on one of my favorite websites that harshly talked about how stupid it is to romanticize death and how selfish suicide is. I couldn't believe it. I had to respond! I had to speak up for the depressed. Here's what I said.</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">C<span style="line-height: 21px;">an we think for a moment about how depression directly affects the person suffering from it? It controls your life. It keeps you from feeling happiness, and eventually anything at all. Your self esteem is gone. Your motivation too. You don't remember anything with fondness, and you have nothing to look forward to. Life is survival. And when you are forced to live in a world where it seems like everyone is happy except you, when you're painfully struggling to get through a normal day, expending the little energy you have on minute social interactions, forced to live a double life, trying not to cause any more harm or pain or sorrow to anyone else, then the idea of death doesn't seem so horrific. It seems like a place of relief.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">You want to know why a symptom of depression is oversleeping? Because it's like death without the commitment. It's the only place a depressed person can escape their own poisoned mind. True, suicide is not the answer, but you have to understand how afflicted a person is to kill themself. Unconsciousness is the only rest of the severely depressed. Or at least, that's how they see it. I don't think depressive suicide is selfish. It is tragic.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It made me angry that someone would attack someone who is already being attacked by their own mind. How cruel!<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>What people need is love and understanding, not condemnation. And the two girls I've been emailing agreed. That's how we came in contact</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">through this post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Things not to say</span></h3>
<span style="line-height: normal;">I have heard "Get over it!" and "It's not that big of a deal" and "It's all about your attitude" and "You need to pray" and the like for years</span><span style="line-height: normal;">. I can't tell you how much I hate these phrases. I know people have good intentions when they say these things</span>—<span style="line-height: normal;">they want to give me hope and make me feel in control, but really, it just feels like a slap in the face. What I hear is "You have the ability to make the right choice and you're not." <span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="font-family: inherit;">It d<span style="font-family: inherit;">oesn't matter that</span></span> you're facing Hell right now<span style="font-family: inherit;">;</span> things will<span style="font-family: inherit;"> get better somet<span style="font-family: inherit;">ime.<span style="font-family: inherit;">" "I don't have the <span style="font-family: inherit;">emotional c<span style="font-family: inherit;">apit<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">a</span>l to deal with this pity party."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> "You don't want to be happy bad enough." "You're such a downer, and I don't want to be around you." "You're trying to be sad." "I have no idea how to handle this, so here's a dismissive platitude." "You aren't even trying!" "You just don't have enough faith." "This is all your fault." <br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I was watching a show yesterday, this ad came up. I thought it was very powerf<span style="font-family: inherit;">ul</span></span>—I certainly identified with it.<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vzHtNNOMCUY" width="560"></iframe>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our <span style="font-family: inherit;">lives are passing us by</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Above I mentioned<span style="font-family: inherit;"> the phrase,</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;">"T</span>hings will<span style="font-family: inherit;"> get better somet<span style="font-family: inherit;">ime.<span style="font-family: inherit;">" And to this point <span style="font-family: inherit;">I w<span style="font-family: inherit;">ant to say,<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that is perhaps true, but</span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">"sometime" is not fast enough when every day is torture</span>. <b>To my depressed friends</b>, we have this culture that says <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">i</span>t is<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>honorable to try to <span style="font-family: inherit;">overcome depression on your own. <span style="font-family: inherit;">To a certain<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;">exten</span>t, sure, it is, but when it<span style="font-family: inherit;"> ha</span>s b<span style="font-family: inherit;">ecome a chronic problem,<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span>i</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>t <span style="font-family: inherit;">is <span style="font-family: inherit;">more</span></span> honorable to seek help in <span style="font-family: inherit;">finding solutions</span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">to your legitimate (and depression is <span style="font-family: inherit;">legitimate)</span> problems</span>. <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> I guess I never thought<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that my happiness was worth enough or that my depression was out of control enough<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to do anything aggressive about it until someone close to me insisted I get help (after dealing with it without help for 8+ years).</span></span> In fact, even a counselor I proactively went to earlier on for this issue basically told me that my depression was mild and insinuated that I <i>didn't</i> need help. It made me feel like I was being overdramatic and needy, but the truth was I was just a high-functioning depressed person.<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">So here I am, 26 years old and crushingly miserable.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Thi<span style="font-family: inherit;">s is not right! You're only 20 and in college once. You're <span style="font-family: inherit;">only </span>26 and a newly<span style="font-family: inherit;">wed once<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span> <span style="font-family: inherit;">You're only 35 and a mother of <span style="font-family: inherit;">three once<span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span> Each day, each month, each year is PRECIOUS. <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Don't li<span style="font-family: inherit;">ve another day only trying to get by to the next. Seek help!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>How to help a depressed friend</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I can only speak for myself, but if you want to help, you first need to understand what depression is and how it feels. So a good start is reading this post or reading other stuff about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Know the symptoms:</span><br />
<ol style="line-height: normal;">
<li>Overeating/undereating</li>
<li>Oversleeping/insomnia</li>
<li>Disinterest in socializing</li>
<li>Fatigue</li>
<li>Difficulty concentrating and making decisions</li>
<li>Feelings of hopelessness and pessimism</li>
<li>Irritability/restlessness</li>
<li>Loss of interest in activities</li>
<li>Physical health problems</li>
<li>Thoughts of suicide</li>
</ol>
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I have experienced all of these symptoms except one. It's really difficult to have one of the above problems; just think how you would feel experiencing nine of them concurrently.</div>
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If you'd really like to help, do not wait for <span style="font-family: inherit;">your depressed friend </span>to reach out to you; you need to reach out. <br />
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If you sincerely want to help, ask your friend how they are doing—how they're REALLY doing. If they tell you they're fine, don't push it. They may not trust you <span style="font-family: inherit;">deeply enough </span>yet or feel comfortable sharing for whatever reason. Just keep being a good friend. If they do open up, ask them what you can do to help. Ask them how they're feeling or what's been going on—legitimate validation is therapeutic. Really pay attention to them. Do not—I REPEAT—do not try to fix it for them. Know that you cannot fix depression. It is very personal and can be very
deep. <br />
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Do not try to "happy" depression out of a person. This will only make
a depressed person close up around you as they will sense you do not understand or
they will think you do not want to be bothered with their feelings. LISTEN for as long as the person needs you to. Depression should not be taken lightly. Do not give a depressed person platitudes or things they should try unless you're super close and have a strong impression that is the right thing to say. Chances are they've already thought through a lot of stuff and tried a lot of things.</div>
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Always feel free to invite them to do stuff, but be understanding if they say no. Keep inviting, but never put pressure on them. Don't make them feel guilty for not being social.</div>
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Pray for them. Let them know you're thinking of them. Text them. Bring them a thoughtful gift. Show them by your actions that you love them no matter what—that you accept their issues. Make them feel comfortable. As I said in a previous post, what depressed people need are people they don't need to wear masks around. People who are attentive, thoughtful, and kind, and who know, even when they're acting like they're fine, that they're not. It takes <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw" target="_blank">real empathy</a> to support someone who is depressed.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We are tremendously brave</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal;">We, the depressed, tend to think we are weak. We are incapable. We are sad. But the truth is we are incredibly strong. Depression is like wearing a 50-pound invisible emotional weight on your shoulders every day, and your body never seems to adapt to it. It is a struggle every single day. And you keep hoping it will just go away, but the longer it stays, the more discouraged and tired you get. It is fighting with your mind every day to feel worthy, to feel lovable, to have faith, to feel okay. The fact that we get up and go to work, socialize, go grocery shopping, smile, go to church, or sometimes even just brush our teeth means we are strong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">To a normal person, we look weak. To a healthy person, we may look like we're needy, attention-seeking, and irrational, but for us, even being around you in the first place is a victory. And I hope that you keep that in mind. When someone you know is being anti-social, irrational, emotional, or is putting on a smiling face when it doesn't seem quite real, these people are depressed, and they need love and support. They do not need pity. They need someone to know they're struggling and support and love them.</span></div>
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<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It really is true that everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, and I can't tell you how many times I've been embarrassed by my own actions in handling certain situations. I pride myself in being logical and independent, so, oh, I hate it when I get irrational and feel like a burden. As much as I try to keep control of my situation and my emotions, I don't have much control. And sometimes I have to work hard to forgive myself for behaving a certain way, and I can only hope that others forgive me as well.</span></div>
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why I'm speaking out</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's honestly absurd how many people struggle with depression and it's also absurd how many people don't understand it despite that fact</span>—<span style="font-family: inherit;">including some of the people dealing with it! In order to face depression, you have to understand how it affects you so you can fight it. You also have to understand how it works so you don't feel guilty for some of the things you do that are perfectly normal. Of course, we should always be trying our best to be our best, but when your best doesn't measure up to someone else's best, it's not your fault. When you are depressed, you are carrying a heavy load.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let's open our eyes. Let's learn about this very common and debilitating illness. Let's validate others. Let's help</span><span style="color: #3f4549; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , sans-serif;">.</span></div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-62157319270678563042015-11-06T09:26:00.001-08:002015-11-06T10:13:50.363-08:00Thankful for brothersNow that it's November, it's the season of gratitude, and I just want to mention my brothers here. I don't get to see them too often, but I love and appreciate them, and here are a few reasons why.<br />
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Kyle has a quick and sarcastic wit. I really appreciate his humor. Plus, he's much more sensitive and sweet than he sometimes lets on. (And I love the quotes he sends me from his kids.)<br />
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Alan is pretty quiet, but when he chooses to speak, he often has something very thoughtful to say. He is not quick to judge, but he is quick to forgive and move on. Plus, he has the funniest giggle.<br />
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Ben has a kind heart, and he calls me just to chat. He also loves to discuss and debate, which I love too. He's always been a charmer and a sweetheart.<br />
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Sometimes I wish I had had a sister, but there's something special about only having brothers, and besides, they've all married wonderful women who have brought something fresh and delightful to our family as well.<br />
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Shawna is kind and understanding, an exemplary momma, and super dependable. She's also easy to talk to, and she checks up on me occasionally.<br />
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Valerie is bold and fun, a great momma too, and always willing to try new things and jump in (and include others too). She definitely brings something different and good to our family!<br />
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Bonni is a tender-hearted woman who has quietly shown her love and support for my brother and for me. (And I appreciate when she sends me photos of her adorable cat!)<br />
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I'm grateful for my siblings.Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-29040500915451368752015-09-30T18:46:00.001-07:002015-10-02T08:54:00.082-07:00So you want to help prevent suicide....Not too long ago it was suicide prevention week I guess, because people kept posting about it on social media. I kept noticing something.<br />
<br />
I think it's funny how we always tell depressed/suicidal people to reach out and create a strong network of support when that is one of the things that their condition stops them from doing. Depression is a condition that folds in on itself. Depression starts out small and over time turns into persistent lack of happiness, then lack of all feeling, then isolation, then loneliness, hopelessness, and despair. Saying a broad "You are loved" on social media doesn't make a dent.<br />
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You want to REALLY help someone suffering from depression (you know, the people who kill themselves)? Pay attention. Listen. Read about it. Learn about it. Figure out how to talk to the people in your life who are struggling. And learn how to spot signs of a hurting person because they are often good actors. Don't say, "Snap out of it." "Get over it." "Just think positively." "Things will get better!" "A lot of other people have it worse." Or walk away out of fear or pride. What those afflicted with depression need are people they aren't forced to wear masks around. People who calmly, without expectations, without trying
to smile them into feeling better, reach out and say, "I notice. You
matter. I'm here. And I know you don't feel it, but you're hella strong."<br />
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Here's a brief crash course brought to you by Pinterest. <br />
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Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-29348282320320622632015-09-30T18:18:00.000-07:002015-09-30T18:18:15.610-07:00MarriageI have a good excuse for not posting in a while. I got married in August.<br />
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It's been absolutely crazy on my end. Since about my birthday (mid July) I've been busy busy busy trying to get everything taken care of for the wedding. On top of that, I was going to the chiropractor to try to fix my increasingly painful back problems, trying to not go crazy from taking birth control, still trying to settle in from moving a month and a half earlier, and several other things.<br />
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I'm going to be honest: some of the wedding shenanigans sucked. Big time.<br />
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By the week of the wedding, I was thinking maybe we should have just done something extremely simple or eloped. It was causing me so much anxiety and stress! But in the end, I'm really glad we did what we did.<br />
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My grandfather sealed us for time and all eternity in the House of the Lord. That's really all that mattered! (I was so relieved to just have that part DONE!!! Finally legitimately married instead of just thinking about it all the time!)<br />
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But it was really nice to have all the other stuff too. I loved our
family dinner the night before, my beautiful dress, the lovely flowers,
our reception at the Proctor house, my family coming in for the weekend,
and all the delightful photos I now have to remember the day by.
There's only one time where you can dress up like that and have flowers
and a cake and a big party with all your friends. I wanted to take
advantage of it.<br />
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And I recently got all the photos
back. I have hundreds. And they're all spectacular. But I'll condense
them and share some of my favorites with you!<br />
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<br />
Seriously, these photos make me SO HAPPY!<br />
<br />
And here are photos from the reception.<br />
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Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-7540226252090829872015-07-26T08:47:00.000-07:002015-07-26T09:10:34.327-07:00One Introvert's Story<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xdl0LriK-NI/VbUCakVVGZI/AAAAAAAAA7c/o9wXjrn7GbA/s1600/IMG_5005.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xdl0LriK-NI/VbUCakVVGZI/AAAAAAAAA7c/o9wXjrn7GbA/s400/IMG_5005.JPG" width="400" /></a> </div>
My name is Holly, and I'm an introvert. I like peace and
quiet. I enjoy being alone. In fact, I need to be alone sometimes. I prefer
small groups over big crowds. I feel uncomfortable and overstimulated at dances
and parties. You've probably never heard me shout. I get stressed out by noise
and contention. I pay attention to everything: words, actions, movements, etc.
I notice things most people never register. I sense everything that is going on
around me.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have always been this way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem with introversion is people don’t understand it.
It seems to me that most extroverts truly believe that introverts are
handicapped people who just need to "let go" and "lighten
up" and "stop being lame." And it boggles my mind that in the
year 2015, half of our population still doesn't understand the other half; they
don't even care to try.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was a pretty happy kid. When I was young I had lots of
friends, but about the time I started becoming self conscious, my family moved.
I became a loner, and in a way, I rather liked it. As a teenager, I had some
friends, but honestly, not that many. I knew I was different—that I didn't fit
in. The words "come out of your shell" and "lame" and
"boring" cropped up increasingly, and I tried so hard to make them go
away. I tried to be "fun" and likeable. I wanted to be that person so
badly, but no matter how hard I tried, I never was, and I only exhausted myself
trying; I usually ended up in tears. (EFY was absolute torture.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After years of trying to be something I wasn't, I finally
learned that being who I was was so much better. You see, there are things I
can do that most people can't. I can talk people through their struggles. I can
listen to someone who needs someone to care. I can give advice to someone who
is lost. I can comfort those who are in pain. I can connect with people through writing. I can understand my own
emotions. I can usually analyze and think my way through any problem I'm
having. These are nearly invisible qualities, but they are important. So, no, I
may not be the life of the party. I may not be wild and crazy. I may have a
hard time "letting go," but what I can do is so much more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even so, I've been burdened with self esteem problems since
puberty. Why? Because I never fit the mold. It's not cool to like reading and
learning. It's not cool to be smart and get good grades. It's not cool to prefer
listening to news radio over music. It's not cool to stay home when you could
go out. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that the things I like are
"boring" or "lame." Even at age 26, I still hear it! And
every time I do, I can't believe that the people I'm hanging out with haven't
moved past their tiny mindset from their teen years, where they see themselves on
top of the social pyramid, keeping others like me down. I just don't buy into
it anymore. And it only makes me want to stay home all the more to avoid the
judgment and the pain of being misunderstood and unappreciated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So please, stop judging introverts. Stop telling us how
uncool we are. Instead, why don't you try to understand us? It would go a long
way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Note: It would be wrong to say that ALL extroverts are this way. They're not. I'm marrying one, and he's been incredibly understanding and accepting of who I am. There have been many other extroverts along the way who have been loving and kind. I appreciate them all. (And I love our differences!) :-) </div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-19952969560153458692015-04-28T20:36:00.002-07:002015-04-28T20:39:21.536-07:00Stop Being Agreeable and Speak Your Mind!I just want to throw something out there: your thoughts matter and feedback is really important.<br />
<br />
I just sent an email to someone close to me trying to persuade them to make a change for the better. I noticed something, I thought a long time about it, and I realized that it actually shows great care to bring hard things up.<br />
<br />
But it's not just for big things. When the waiter asks you how your food was, be honest! Don't just say "great!" and grimace as he turns away. The poor restaurant owner will be forced to close his establishment and he'll never know why.<br />
<br />
Don't post on social media about how terrible a place is without contacting them first; they're in that business for a reason—they think they can provide something that people want. Give them a chance to make it right. I've found that most places will make it right because they appreciate feedback and want to provide the best products and services they can.<br />
<br />
Positive feedback is the most powerful, and that's why I sent my dermatologist a thank you note for his awesome service recently. How often do you think places receive thank you notes? Not often. It'll make their day.<br />
<br />
Positive and negative feedback help people improve, and you're actually
doing people a disservice when you're not open and honest with them. There is never a need to be mean or hateful; just be honest.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XxYodX7y_uY/VUBRJbWorMI/AAAAAAAAA4Y/gj51WKDSHnA/s1600/thankyoucard4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XxYodX7y_uY/VUBRJbWorMI/AAAAAAAAA4Y/gj51WKDSHnA/s1600/thankyoucard4.jpg" height="311" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://friendsmessages.com/messages_email/send_thank_you_card/?type=card&card=picturecard4" target="_blank">Image Source</a></div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-56822017544452780192015-04-20T21:52:00.001-07:002015-04-20T21:52:15.635-07:00The YoungestIt seems like I'm constantly seeing some post or article describing children who are the youngest in their family. Risk-taker? Limelight-lover? Spoiled? HA!! I think you have it all wrong. First of all, I am the opposite of all of those things.<br />
<br />
Youngests are used to taking a backseat to everyone else<span class="st">—</span>literally and figuratively. They're used to being ignored. Now, I don't like to be ignored for real, but there are many times when I wish I could go unnoticed, or I'd rather watch than participate because that's what I grew up doing.<br />
<br />
Youngests are used to hand-me-downs. (Me not as much as others because all my siblings are boys, but I still enjoyed my siblings' old video games and t-shirts.)<br />
<br />
They're observant and learn from others' mistakes. Very observant.<br />
<br />
They also know how to be alone and connect with people older than them
because they're the ones who are left behind with mom and dad in their
teen years.<br />
<br />
And this one is key: they have to at some point assert their independence because if they don't, everyone will always treat them as "the baby."<br />
<br />
That's MY experience anyway.Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-39084998502994102352015-03-17T22:30:00.000-07:002016-02-03T13:18:49.381-08:00Why do we encourage others to make poor eating decisions?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I was at a female-only gathering recently where food was
advertised to be provided. The fare ended up being Domino's pizza, bagged
salad, and cookies. It was on a weekday, and many guests came straight from
work. They were hungry, and the only filling food was pizza. What do you think
people do when they're hungry and food is in front of them? They eat it no
matter what it is.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Tangent: I really think people planning things like this
should consider providing healthy, fresh options not only for those who want to
be healthy or lose weight (which is probably the majority of people,
particularly women) but also for those who have food allergies. (For instance,
I'm lactose intolerant and don't eat pizza because of the cheese. Lots of
people have gluten allergies too.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But consider this:<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> did
you know that one slice of Domino's cheese pizza has 290 calories?</b> Have you
ever filled up on just one piece? Ha! Nope. When hungry, we always go for at
least two. That’s 580 calories, right there. Have three and you're at 870! That's a ton of calories for just one meal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, what I wanted to talk about is a girl who was
sitting at my table. A great, nice, talented girl whom I like. She mentioned
that she wanted another piece. Quickly, anyone who heard said, "Then get
another piece!" She responded "But I've already had two." They
quickly fired back, "So?" And I hear things like this all the time:
"Calories don't count here!" "You're thin; you can eat anything
you want." "Calories don't count on holidays!" "Just do it,
you know you want it." But calories do count. All the time. And the foods
we eat and the choices we make affect us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why is it okay for us to encourage bad habits or behavior?
How many of us are trying to eat healthier but still encourage ourselves and
each other to eat things we shouldn't? It doesn't make any sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt silenced. Everyone else at the table encouraged her
to eat another piece. I wanted to say, "No! Don't eat another piece.
They're terrible for you—you obviously know that. If you're still hungry, wait
and eat an apple at home. You'll feel better physically and
emotionally." But no, somehow that's not socially acceptable. So she ate
another piece.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe it's because they know they don't have to deal with the
consequences of another's bad decisions. If that's it, that's selfish. I mean,
how many times have you binged a bit and your stomach felt like lead for hours,
and on top of that you felt like you just ruined your goals and defeated yourself?
I've done it many times, and don't lie—you have too. It's the worst. Why would
you want to encourage that for someone else?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let's look out for each other a bit better, shall we?</div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-71674322642849533252015-01-27T10:45:00.001-08:002015-01-27T11:09:25.521-08:00A word on leggingsSo I've seen a ton of stuff about leggings on Facebook lately. The truth is, if every woman wore leggings, this wouldn't be a conversation at all. We'd all just think it's normal. But right now it's a new popular clothing item, and people aren't sure what to think about it.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pvR017RYTBI/VMfiREG3dcI/AAAAAAAAArk/lF7sZ77JNjI/s1600/IMG_4879.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pvR017RYTBI/VMfiREG3dcI/AAAAAAAAArk/lF7sZ77JNjI/s1600/IMG_4879.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a>We're all a bit too caught up in the idea of *modesty.* If the reason behind modesty is to keep people's mind's pure, you're never going to win. Back in the day, showing your ankles was forbidden. Then it was your bellybutton. In some places currently, a woman's hair must be covered for fear of lust. In temperate coastal places, people hardly wear anything, and it's normal and fine. So clearly there's no universal line to cross with women's clothing that makes something inherently inappropriate. There are cultural expectations, but those are prone to change.<br />
<br />
I'm not taking sides. I'm just saying it's all relative. It really really is.<br />
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Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-81196075805977590932015-01-21T11:02:00.001-08:002015-01-21T11:02:44.124-08:00Taylor Swift | Out of the WoodsI just posted about Into the Woods. Now it's time to post about Out of the Woods. Yep, this Taylor Swift song is my new favorite. I just identify with it, and, I can't help it<span class="st">—it's catchy.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="st">This is the best version I could find. Ugh, just go buy it. </span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PVAfR3QjFKo" width="480"></iframe>Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-86258305978590726852015-01-09T12:10:00.001-08:002015-01-09T12:11:16.746-08:00Agony - Into the Woods Movie Clip<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
I saw this movie this week. It's a must-see if you ask me, and this is by far my favorite part of the film. The humor of this scene is impeccable!</div>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VLR1uKXNc-M" width="480"></iframe>Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-12085606911608748322015-01-02T18:02:00.000-08:002015-01-02T18:21:04.284-08:00Humans of New York<span style="font-family: inherit;">I discovered this <a href="https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork?ref=eyJzaWQiOiIwLjg4NzMxODIyODQ5OTUxNDEiLCJxcyI6IkpUVkNKVEl5U0hWdFlXNXpKVEl3YjJZbE1qQk9aWGNsTWpCWmIzSnJKVEl5SlRWRSIsImd2IjoiNzQ2NmMyMGFjODlmNDdkNjE4NWYzYTY1MTQ2MWMxYjFiYWM5YTgyZCJ9" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> last year, and I'm in love with it. This page draws me in with its realism. The basic concept: a man walks around New York and asks people if he can take a picture and asks a few questions. He leaves us with a photo and a quote. Sometimes it's heartbreaking. Sometimes it's joyful. There are love stories interwoven with tales of crime, abuse, and heartache. There is diversity. There are celebrations, personalities, and a hundred million stories waiting to be told.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Here is a random selection of some of my favorites. (The photographer traveled abroad earlier this year. Some of my favorites are from that adventure.) (And sorry about the inconsistent fonts in this post. I couldn't figure out <span style="font-family: inherit;">how to standardize them<span style="font-family: inherit;">! A<span style="font-family: inherit;">iiii<span style="font-family: inherit;">!)</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“I want to be a hematologist. That’s
a blood doctor. Well not a blood doctor, exactly. But a doctor that finds cures
for blood diseases.”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“How’d you decide on that?”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“We were dissecting frogs in class and learning about
how the blood flows through the body. And I went home that night and wrote an
essay. And it wasn’t like any other essay I’d ever done. Normally when I write
essays, it takes me a long time, but this was the fastest essay I ever wrote.
So the next day I was asking the teacher mad questions, and she was like, ‘You
know you can get a job in this.’ And she pulled it up on the internet, and was
showing me all about hematologists.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I was the youngest in the family. I
went to Israel first, and the rest of the family was supposed to join me.
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letter I got from Poland came in 1941. It was from my mother. It asked me to
send food. Then the letters stopped. I knew that the Germans had occupied Poland,
and I heard rumors about the things that were happening. I never learned the
specifics of what happened to my family. I never wanted to.”<br />
<br />
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">“My
father came from Nicaragua and got a job as a construction worker. My mother
immigrated from Puerto Rico and got a job as a cleaning woman. One day he was
working high up on some scaffolding at an office building, and he saw her
cleaning inside, so he knocked on the window. And here I am.”</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"After they beat me, I heard
shots. And I walked to the shop next door, and found my neighbor dead on the
floor. He was one of the nicest men in the town. Every day he would put out
food for the cats. I would tell him: 'You must stop feeding the cats, they are
overrunning my shop.' But he would never stop feeding them. He would tell me:
'I have to feed them. Or they will die.'" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Zaatari Refugee Camp, Jordan)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“It’s tough to take the right steps
when you grow up in this neighborhood. It’s hard to get up and go to school
everyday because you see so many other kids who are dropping out, and they
still figure out a way to handle their business. A lot of kids around here
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“I’m trying to raise my daughter with
the same values that I learned in Jamaica, but it can be hard to instill
gratitude and appreciation when we are surrounded by such abundance. When I was
growing up in Jamaica, every time I wanted something, my grandmother made me go
through the same list of questions: ‘Why do you want it?’ ‘How much will it
cost?’ ‘Is it going to make your life better?’ There wasn't enough money for
things we didn't need, so we were always forced to ask those questions-- even
for simple things like a new pair of shoes. The necessity of that ritual really
helped create a deep appreciation for the things we had.’"</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ar6cpiMcPUg/VKdHi6dEGwI/AAAAAAAAAnc/766V6AxIS24/s1600/10498403_753532274720875_6652838834881858287_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ar6cpiMcPUg/VKdHi6dEGwI/AAAAAAAAAnc/766V6AxIS24/s1600/10498403_753532274720875_6652838834881858287_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"Do you remember the happiest
moment of your life?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"One day, I was sent home from my final exams
because my mother had not been able to pay the registration fees. On the way
home, a man came up to me and asked what was wrong. 'Nothing,' I told him. He
asked me again. So I told him that I'd been sent home from school. He then gave
me the money I needed to take my exams. I'd never seen him before, and I've
never seen him again."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Entebbe, Uganda)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J1djBVeqJzs/VKdHi22NIbI/AAAAAAAAAns/2XqRMkzFXx0/s1600/10547219_750170568390379_3546263253322759274_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J1djBVeqJzs/VKdHi22NIbI/AAAAAAAAAns/2XqRMkzFXx0/s1600/10547219_750170568390379_3546263253322759274_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“What’s surprised you most about being
a parent?”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“The feeling of being called ‘Dad.’ It’s the best
feeling on earth. The first time my daughter called me ‘Dad,’ we were playing
hide and go seek. I was pretending that I couldn’t find her, and I kept
searching and searching, until finally she screamed: ‘Dad!’ It almost made me
cry. It made me feel like Superman.’”</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nairobi, Kenya)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I was going to one of my first
exams, and suddenly there was a bombing. In downtown Damascus! I couldn't
believe it! I didn't think this was possible. Windows were broken everywhere,
and there were people on the ground, and the sounds of ambulances. Then over
the next few weeks, everything changed. The taxis in the streets were replaced
by tanks. You no longer knew who was your friend and who was your enemy.
Suddenly you could be killed, and nobody would ask why. Before war, you have
rights. People will ask why you were killed. When war comes, nobody asks why
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I'd been studying German for a
few years, and I met this woman who gave me the opportunity to go to Germany
for a full year. The brochure looked very nice. The program included hikes,
volunteer work, singing in church. It was very expensive, but my family thought
it would be a great experience for me, so all my relatives chipped in to pay
the program fee. I was so excited for months. On the day that I was supposed to
leave, I went to the airport, and waited in line to check my baggage. When I
got to the front of the line, they told me that my ticket was a forgery. When I
tried to call the woman's phone, it had been disconnected." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nairobi, Kenya)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"They sometimes ask me about
their grandmother, and I only tell them about the good times. I don't want to
worry them with all the things my mother and I had to go through when I was
growing up."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"What's your fondest memory of your mother?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"We were so poor that every day she'd have to go
out and try to find us some food. And on the days when she came home empty
handed, she'd help us forget our hunger by putting on music and dancing for
us."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Jinja, Uganda)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RCBzLBc3oAI/VKdHnDWFOlI/AAAAAAAAAoA/kguPTZyTrks/s1600/10608599_791045824302853_3180954105949648660_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RCBzLBc3oAI/VKdHnDWFOlI/AAAAAAAAAoA/kguPTZyTrks/s1600/10608599_791045824302853_3180954105949648660_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I'm bringing leaves to my
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"When I was thirteen years old,
government troops passed through our town when they were fleeing the rebels. At
first I heard the gunfire, and then they came into our house and took
everything they could. I was hiding under the bed. I heard them say they were
going to kill my mother. One of them took off all my sister's clothes. But at
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo)</span></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I'm coming up on five years of
never missing a Sunday."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"How have you changed during those five
years?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"Before I met my creator, all I did was smoke and
drink and party. Then five years ago, my aunt dragged me to church with her. I
started following God, got off the streets, and stopped hanging out with my old
friends. Church helped me to surround myself with people who were committed to
changing themselves."</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BhcKTC8d8Ac/VKdHpVPnkYI/AAAAAAAAAoM/xvlK7KFl534/s1600/10620403_748949225179180_8358766147152449069_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BhcKTC8d8Ac/VKdHpVPnkYI/AAAAAAAAAoM/xvlK7KFl534/s1600/10620403_748949225179180_8358766147152449069_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"He's only five years old, but
he acts like an old man. Just now, he was just telling us that he was tired of
our immature jokes. He doesn't even like to play. After school, he usually
comes straight home and reads."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nairobi, Kenya)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YiYf9CQRMt4/VKdHqZeZaBI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/mo842yAbhyg/s1600/10624052_808733049200797_8792560396214609546_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YiYf9CQRMt4/VKdHqZeZaBI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/mo842yAbhyg/s1600/10624052_808733049200797_8792560396214609546_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I'm losing my eyesight. It's a
condition called retinitis pigmentosa. It starts with your peripheral vision
and moves inward. It's not too bad for me yet. Sometimes I don't notice when
somebody is trying to shake my hand. And sometimes it can be hard for me to
keep track of what line I'm reading. But I got the disease from my father, and
he went completely blind in his 40's. So I try to spend as much time as
possible looking at things like the colors of the leaves and cool cloud formations."</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"My happiest moments were when
my mom was still alive."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"What's your fondest memory of your mother?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"One time when I was six years old, we went to pick
up my father at the airport. On the way, my mother explained to me the concept
of boarding a plane and taking a trip. And then while we waited for my father,
we sat in a nearby restaurant, and we planned out all the imaginary trips that
I wanted to go on."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nairobi, Kenya)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"If I'm ever arguing with her
mom, I just look down and remind myself that this beautiful woman gave me this
beautiful child. And this child doesn't care who's right or who's wrong, all
she cares about is that mommy and daddy are there."</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KtsoZYREC0o/VKdHsygVYSI/AAAAAAAAAow/0hH56Zf8LYw/s1600/10635796_748543155219787_5971732237683503771_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KtsoZYREC0o/VKdHsygVYSI/AAAAAAAAAow/0hH56Zf8LYw/s1600/10635796_748543155219787_5971732237683503771_n.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"She shares her yogurt with
me."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nairobi, Kenya)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k2wSxXOvW5g/VKdHtY0-GRI/AAAAAAAAAos/zGDmQvXbPjk/s1600/10655265_808664022541033_1960781567776864296_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k2wSxXOvW5g/VKdHtY0-GRI/AAAAAAAAAos/zGDmQvXbPjk/s1600/10655265_808664022541033_1960781567776864296_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“One time we were spinning with
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"What's your largest goal in
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"To find my children. They are five and seven. I
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"Some people still prefer the
arranged marriage, especially in the countryside where tradition is still
strong. The thought is that your parents know you very well, and will make the
decision based on experience and not emotion. The divorce rate with arranged
marriages is lower, because both families are heavily involved and there are
many people committed to making the match work. But the trad</span><span class="textexposedshow">ition is on the way out. It used to be that you didn't
even see your wife until your wedding day, and you fell in love after your
wedding, as you learned to support and care for each other. But today there's
Whatsapp and Facebook, so keeping two people apart is almost impossible. 'Love
marriages' are becoming much more popular than arranged marriages, and even
arranged marriages involve much more interaction than they used to. Many
families still choose to uphold the appearance of an arrangement. Their
children will come to them and say: 'I fell in love.' And they'll say: 'OK, let
us arrange it.'"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="textexposedshow">(Jammu, India)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKO_sz0jQU4/VKdHwHowSQI/AAAAAAAAApQ/AWvXd0oz-hg/s1600/10683559_767592683314834_4565596604544266796_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKO_sz0jQU4/VKdHwHowSQI/AAAAAAAAApQ/AWvXd0oz-hg/s1600/10683559_767592683314834_4565596604544266796_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"I can't see, so he guides me.
Whenever I make a sound, he will come running. He reads to me. He cooks for me.
And he got the second highest ranking in his 6th grade class."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Nurpur, India)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"When I was fourteen, I had a
friend over to my house and we were sitting on the floor of my closet making
jewelry. My mom poked her head in the room and asked us what movie we wanted to
see that night, and we said 'Brokeback Mountain.' She said we were a little too
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">"When I was fifteen, I was raped
by three boys while competing at a gymnastics tournament. I was so ashamed,
that I stood on a train track, and waited for the train to come. At the last
moment, I tried to jump away. I woke up after a month. It was the middle of the
night, and I could immediately tell that something was missing. I started
feeling all over my body, and that's when I realized that I'd lost my arm. Now
I counsel teenagers who have been diagnosed with HIV. I'm normally the first to
meet with them after they get their results. I try to explain to them that
there's a way out of even the most impossible situations."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">(Odessa, Ukraine)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wcj1t7V4wYg/VKdHxkyMCdI/AAAAAAAAApo/Dx17f_C4nZo/s1600/10714270_813712212036214_8534005900430685467_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wcj1t7V4wYg/VKdHxkyMCdI/AAAAAAAAApo/Dx17f_C4nZo/s1600/10714270_813712212036214_8534005900430685467_o.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“I grew up on an island off the coast
of Honduras, and I came to America on a banana boat when I was very young. I’m
the superintendent for some of the apartment buildings around here. I always
try to collect the clothing and junk that the tenants throw away, and every
couple of months, I pack it into barrels and send it back to Honduras. I especially
try to find medical equipment. If a crippled man in Honduras has nothing but a
stick, a crutch will change his life.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A_XcZm5DOik/VKdHx_x9bTI/AAAAAAAAAps/JQHynoXl8T8/s1600/10734055_815054235235345_4291878186593675757_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A_XcZm5DOik/VKdHx_x9bTI/AAAAAAAAAps/JQHynoXl8T8/s1600/10734055_815054235235345_4291878186593675757_o.jpg" height="425" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="hascaption">“I met my dad for the first time when
I was fifteen. I visited him in Trinidad for two months during the summer. He
met me at the airport and acted like he missed me more than anything else in
the world. He ran up to me and lifted me in the air and started kissing me and
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buy me all this food. He was introducing me to his friends like he was so proud
of me. He’d say: ‘Look at my beautiful daughter,’ and things like that. It
actually got me imagining how nice it would be to have a dad. Then at the end
of the day, he dropped me off at my grandmother’s house, and I only saw him two
or three times for the rest of the summer. The last night I was with him, he
got really drunk, and he told me that I’d been a mistake. He was laughing when
he said it, like it was a joke, and I should think it was funny. I pretended
like it didn’t bother me, but it did. I thought: ‘So is that why you never
wanted to visit or talk to me all these years?’”</span></span></div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-16065216179732726802014-12-31T10:48:00.001-08:002014-12-31T10:48:25.439-08:00Losing Weight and Feeling GreatTomorrow is New Year's Day, and the most common resolution every year is to lose weight. It's an awesome goal. However, I've seen a lot of stuff lately that promises to help you look amazing with a shockingly small amount of effort. (I'm talking to you, Pinterest.) These don't work. If you have a goal to lose weight or tone up, you have to commit to it. You can't spend 5 minutes a day doing a workout routine and expect big results. You can't eat one healthy meal and think that's going to do it for you. If you really want to lose weight and feel great in 2015, commit to it. You have to take charge!<br />
<br />
My personal advice:<br />
<ul>
<li>Find a workout program/routine that challenges you but that you enjoy; commit to doing it X number of times per week. Whether it's P90x, Jillian Michaels, body pump, pilates, yoga, racquetball, tennis, running, etc, it doesn't matter that much. Just find something that you like that gets you moving and do it!</li>
<li>Get rid of the junk you usually eat. Replace with fresh, healthy foods<span class="st">—</span>eggs, salads, soups, sandwiches. Fill your diet with healthy protein that will give you lasting energy.</li>
<li>Count your calories, at least for a little while so that you'll understand how many calories are in the things you typically eat. This will help you weigh in your mind whether certain foods are worth the calories for you. (There are apps for this. I use Lose It!)</li>
<li>Learn to say no to yourself and others. Our own desires are hard enough to deal with. Add in some people in your life who are putting bad foods right in front of your face, and it's tough. YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO.</li>
<li>Don't completely deprive yourself. Deprivation is discouraging. It's okay to have a sweet treat; just don't overdo it.</li>
</ul>
It takes serious discipline sometimes. It means saying no to family and friends who peer pressure you into eating bad things. It means choosing a salad over a hamburger. It means going to the
gym when you REALLY don't feel like it. It means skipping dessert when you're full. It means eating one cookie instead of five. It's an entire lifestyle change,
but you can do it, and the reward is HUGE.<br />
<br />
Good luck with all your 2015 goals!Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-49572112593258782982014-10-10T15:00:00.000-07:002014-10-10T15:04:26.779-07:00Style Matters<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><b>What Not to Wear</b><br />
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<br /></div>
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Lately I've been thinking about style and why it matters. </div>
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<br /></div>
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One of my favorite shows, which sadly no longer airs, is <a href="http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/what-not-to-wear" target="_blank">What Not to Wear</a>. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ojZAbLdmF6I/VDhJXsCjD1I/AAAAAAAAAj4/sYYN_TIfGhQ/s1600/6577.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ojZAbLdmF6I/VDhJXsCjD1I/AAAAAAAAAj4/sYYN_TIfGhQ/s1600/6577.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
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If
you're unfamiliar, Stacy and Clinton would approach a poorly dressed person who
had been nominated by family and friends to be on the show and give them a
complete makeover and offer them tips for how to best present themselves. Of course it's all done in an entertaining way and fits into an hour of TV. You
may think this is shallow, stupid, and unimportant, but I TOTALLY disagree. </div>
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<br /></div>
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You see, most often the people picked out were people who
didn't think they were good enough to look nice. People who saw no value in
themselves. People who forgot to take care of themselves. People who had no
confidence and a host of insecurities. The show took on men as well as women,
but most often I saw women so insecure that they sought
for attention by dressing like tacky strippers or mothers who got so lost
taking care of others they forgot about themselves.</div>
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<br /></div>
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At the beginning of each show, contributors were often angry, hurt,
and/or defiant. But because Stacy and Clinton do this to help rather than to
embarrass, by the end, <a href="http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/what-not-to-wear/videos/the-rule-book-videos.htm" target="_blank">they were always happier</a>, including the people who would, in the beginning, say things like "Well, I like how I dress, and if you don't I don't care." After they were forced to make a change, they realized they liked it. They felt stronger, empowered, and beautiful, and it changed them from the outside in, therefore changing and influencing the people around them for the better as well. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>Confidence brings change</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Yes, that's right. An outward physical change can bring joyful inner change. When you're actually happy with your look, you can suddenly take on the world. Your new-found confidence can change and influence not only you but the people around you. Especially those moms out there. Man, the influence you have on your children is unrivaled. Show them what it's like to have a confident, beautiful, sassy, and successful woman in their life. They NEED that.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Work with whatcha got </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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This show was not focused on changing your personality or your weight. Big bust? Big tummy? Big thighs? No curves? It's all good. Just look for clothes that fit and flatter your figure. Everyone can look good. Tons of people buy clothes that are way too
large (because they can't stand people actually seeing them) or way too small
(because they can't accept that they are a bigger size) or way too young (because they are desperately clinging to their youth) or way too weird (because they're afraid to come out from behind their chosen identity, e.g. "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc-8jkWeAQc" target="_blank">the crazy turtle lady</a>"). </div>
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So many people on the show said they didn't want to buy
clothes until they lost weight. You are good
enough to look good even if you're not at the weight you want to be! Style is not about changing your body; it's about making what you have look its best for a happier and better you.</div>
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<b>Making an effort makes you attractive</b></div>
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But it's not just about clothes. Style includes hair and makeup
too. </div>
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People are attracted to confidence and beauty. And that
doesn't mean you have to look perfect, but someone who puts effort into their
appearance is attractive. Take a look at this before and after of makeup/hair.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p0uuJsR1DME/VDhOAVlRMzI/AAAAAAAAAkY/w0C0jiyoB0s/s1600/Makeup-Hair-Before-After-Los-Angeles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p0uuJsR1DME/VDhOAVlRMzI/AAAAAAAAAkY/w0C0jiyoB0s/s1600/Makeup-Hair-Before-After-Los-Angeles.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Obviously, this is one pretty lady before and after, but which of the two would you rather see every day? If you ran into the woman on the left, what are some quick assumptions you might make about her? What about the woman on the right? Guys, which girl would you rather date?</div>
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And now for a guy.</div>
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Which of the two would you rather see every day? If you ran into the man on the left, what are some quick assumptions you might make about
him? What about the man on the right? Ladies, which guy would you
rather date?</div>
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Just think about that for a moment, please. I'll give you white space for it.</div>
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Someone who knows how to enhance their own appearance <b>and does</b> is attractive. Guys and girls alike.</div>
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<b>To the dudes</b></div>
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It is so refreshing when I see a guy putting effort into his
appearance. Guys, you always want the attractive girl, right? But what are you
doing to be more physically attractive yourself? I hope you realize that most girls spend a lot of time to look nice. Hair alone is pretty much the bane of our existence, but we do it,
and it looks pretty amazing most of the time because we take the time. You
appreciate that, don't you? Surprise! We appreciate it too. So I recommend taking the 2 minutes it takes
to do your hair. It's worth it. (Bonus: if you're in a relationship, taking the
time to look nice shows that you honor and respect your partner and want to
look good for him/her.)</div>
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Don't know where to start when it comes to clothes or even
hair? You have lots of online resources, especially Pinterest. Experiment with different looks. Be
patient and take time in the store to buy things that work for you<span class="st">—</span>not just
something that simply covers you. I know how you fellas are. You think shopping is the worst! But please, take the time. It's
worth it. (Bonus tip: A well-tailored and
modern suit is HECKA attractive.) </div>
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And I'm sure if you're really lost, you have a stylish friend or two
who would be absolutely delighted to help.</div>
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<b>Your dress tells people how to treat you</b></div>
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When I was in high school my mom told me that when she went into the school
office, she was treated differently depending on what
she was wearing. Frumpy clothes = she wasn't treated well. A nice dress = she was
acknowledged promptly and with respect. People make subconscious assumptions all the time, so people treat you
differently depending on what you wear. And I know that we all like to think
this isn't the case and that it shouldn't be the case, but the fact remains
that it is. If you want to be treated well, dress well.</div>
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<b>A great article is like a beautiful person </b></div>
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Since I'm an editor, I'm totally making this connection. It's happening.</div>
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I liken personal style to grammatical
style. You can write a fantastic article with an interesting perspective and
great points linked together perfectly, but if you have grammar, spelling, and
punctuation errors, your article loses its power and its art for something that
could have been fixed fairly easily with a little extra time and attention to
detail. (It makes me so sad!) It's the same with style. You can be a gorgeous, wonderful, magnificent
person on the inside, but if you dress like a box, it will take a lot of time and effort for someone to see that. Make
yourself look good and you'll make yourself and other people realize that you're worth it!</div>
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Want to enhance your style? Find great tips from What Not to Wear <a href="http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/what-not-to-wear/videos/the-rule-book-videos.htm" target="_blank">here</a>! There are also hilarious clips over there.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Style is about
looking your best so you can take on the world confidently</b>. And so, it
matters!!! Go forth and style yourselves!<br />
<br /></div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-76329037566606808952014-09-18T20:42:00.002-07:002014-09-18T20:42:27.789-07:00Lucy Scholl | Blue EyesI discovered this country-esque song a few months ago thanks to my friend Steve. It's pretty much amazing; I would love to hear it on the radio sometime. :-)<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="no" height="450" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/158478923&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br />
<br />
Love it!<br />
<br />Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-90649753309822747472014-09-18T20:23:00.000-07:002014-09-18T21:18:18.322-07:00How to Know if a Guy Likes YouThis is for all my lady friends out there who are constantly wondering, "Does he like me?"<br />
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Would you like the simple answer? Okay, the answer is
"No, he doesn't. Sorry."</div>
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Okay, need more explanation? Alright, here goes.</div>
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If the average guy likes you,
you just know. Especially if you're confident and observant. I say confident because there are girls who don't realize how desirable
they are, and they truly don't believe it when a guy is interested in them—I've
totally been there. And I say observant because sometimes the important things
are a bit subtle, and if you're not good at reading into words and body
language, this could be tough.</div>
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But basically, he'll make an effort to spend time with you or catch your attention.
He'll do some or all of the following:</div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Invite you to things (movie night, game night,
party, church activity, etc) OR simply go for it and ask you out</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Eagerly accept your invitations to things (Oh,
you're going to get frozen yogurt? Of course I'm in. Mango tart is my fave!)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Talk to you (Oh hey, we're both on Facebook.
Let's chat.)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Sit by you (Is this seat taken by chance?) and sit close to you (oh yeah, arms touching and everything!)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Get on your friends' or family's good sides (Let
me help with the dishes!)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Smile around you—a lot (Like, a lot.)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Be very agreeable (Oh yeah, I totally love
T.J.Maxx too!)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Do things he wouldn't normally want to do (I
would LOVE to watch a chick flick during my favorite team's football game.)</li>
</ul>
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If he's doing those things, he definitely likes you.
If he's not doing those
things—and I say this pretty generally but also pretty confidently—he's just not that into you. There's no need to waste away your days wondering. That doesn't mean he couldn't like you at a future
date. I've seen it before, but I wouldn't lounge around waiting for it, and I wouldn't waste my time trying to get him to like me either, because there's nothing more unattractive than a fake, especially one who won't take a hint.</div>
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And yes, I've written this for girls to know if guys like
them, but guess what? It's pretty much the same the other way around.</div>
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Happy dating! </div>
Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-18499122198897749652014-09-10T21:10:00.002-07:002014-09-10T21:10:18.006-07:00The Hiding PlaceEarlier this year I started reading again, and one of the first books I picked up was The Hiding Place, recommended to me by my friend Meisha. I had no idea what it was about when I started, but I quickly learned that it was something magnificent. When I finished the book, I felt so inspired to be a better person. Everything that Corrie ten Boom went through, everything she did, everything she saw, everything she survived, everything she risked, everyone she helped<span class="st">—</span>it's incredible. Definitely my new favorite book.<br />
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Read it.Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-90556906444527832052014-09-07T17:28:00.001-07:002014-09-07T17:28:20.282-07:00You Girls Know What I'm Talking About(Wrote this a bit ago. Just getting around to publishing it.)<br />
<br />
I
want you to know that as I write this, it is 4 o'clock in the morning.
If you know me, you know I am NEVER EVER awake at this time. However, I
simply can't sleep, so I figure I may as well write about why.<br />
<br />
I am in a lot of pain; I'm on my period.<br />
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I
know some of you fellas might not want to know about this, but the
thing is, you really ought to. It may provide a little understanding
toward the fairer sex, and as I hope you know by this point, women like
to be understood and validated. (Everyone does, really.) I'm really not
sure why periods have been so taboo, even now, when we seem to talk
openly about pretty much everything. It's really quite silly since
almost every female between the ages of 12 and 55 goes through this
about every month. It's a normal and natural thing, so if you think it's
gross, you just have to get over it at some point or another. It may as
well be now.<br />
<br />
So. Women have this approximately monthly
thing called a period. Basically what happens each month is a nice
nutrient-rich lining is created in the woman's uterus so that, should
impregnation occur, there is a healthy/comfy spot for a fetus to begin
growing. If it doesn't occur, then this lining is released during the
menstrual cycle. Biologically, this sounds like a great plan! However,
in practice, I think most women would attest that it's extremely sucky.
What it <strong>feels</strong> like is that my body is throwing a giant
temper tantrum because I didn't get pregnant. It hurts. Sometimes when
it's happening, I try to think of ways to describe it. "It feels like
someone is taking a sledgehammer to my insides." "It feels like someone
is taking my organs and squishing them in their fist." Here are some
other fabulous attempts at explaining the feeling of menstrual cramps.<br />
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Periods
are a real pain. And each of us women seem to experience periods
differently. Some of us don't have them to begin with. Those who train
very hard athletically or those who are underweight don't have periods.
For those that do, some feel more pain than others. Some breeze through
it while others seem to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. A
girl once told me that she threw up during her period every. single.
time. I can't even imagine.<br />
<br />
The period lasts about 4-5
days, and the pain, in my opinion, is unpredictable. It's kind of off
and on for a couple of days at the start. This pain is normal but rather
inconvenient. During those couple of days, athletic endeavors (for me)
are avoided. Sometimes it makes it really hard to concentrate on things
or do work! Honestly, sometimes I just want to say heck with it and take
a sick day. Occasionally I do. Sometimes cramps really cramp our style.
Some women use birth control to regulate their periods and this
sometimes also alleviates pain. We can also take drugs like Midol, but
trust me, we can still feel what's happening.<br />
<br />
And then
there's the emotional side of the menstrual cycle. Some women don't
experience PMS (premenstrual syndrome). Others do. I find my emotions
are very near the surface sometimes, and when I take the time to think
it through, I can usually link it to my period. In the past,
occasionally I felt like I was going crazy! Like, really. It's not fun
to feel emotionally out of control. Luckily, as the years have gone on,
I've learned more about how to manage these physical and emotional
disturbances.<br />
<br />
So anyway, I don't really want to go into any more details there. Just know that periods are painful and just<br />
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and sometimes that battle is with Aunt Flo.Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-12878597430224711152014-08-26T18:57:00.002-07:002014-08-27T10:48:01.494-07:00Gel NailsI'm a girl, and I like to look pretty. That's why I like to paint my nails. But man, using regular nail polish is a big pain in the neck. It chips within two days, and it's hard to get it all off cleanly. It always ends up looking tacky, and you have to reapply, remove, reapply, remove, reapply. UGH.<br />
<br />
But around Christmas I bought myself everything I needed to start doing gel nails, and I'm so happy about it! Seriously, one of the best purchases ever.<br />
<br />
Reasons gel nails ROCK<br />
<ul>
<li><b>They last about 2 weeks.</b> TWO WEEKS, people. You might get a tiny bubble or a chip before then, but it's still waaaay better than regular nail polish</li>
<li><b>Your nails are smoother.</b> The nail polish just dries perfectly and all smooth-like. It feels great.</li>
<li><b>It comes off easier.</b> When it's time to put on a new color, it's really easy to get off the whole thing without using any remover. Should I take the polish off without remover? Someone at a salon would probably say no, but I don't care.</li>
<li><b>My nails are stronger.</b> Somehow the gel is pretty tough, and my nails don't bend or break like they do when they're bare.</li>
<li><b>My nails are longer.</b> Because they are stronger with gel polish, they actually grow! Yay!</li>
<li><b>It doesn't rub or scratch off.</b> When I used regular nail polish, I would find little streaks on my papers occasionally from my nail polish. That doesn't happen with gel nails. </li>
<li><b>I don't have to reapply all the time</b>, which saves me time and patience. Forty minutes every two weeks? I can do that! Forty minutes every five or six weeks for my toes? Psh! Done!</li>
<li><b>It dries immediately</b>. Once you're done, you're done. I know it's hard to believe, but you don't have to worry about smudging and you don't have to worry about doing anything with your hands. They're good to go. It's amazing!</li>
</ul>
The only drawback is the cost. You do have to get a lamp/dryer thing, but those are a one-time purchase and you can find them on Amazon for $25. (Those dryers are hard to travel with though.) The nail polishes are also about 3x more expensive than regular polish. You can get a base and top coat for about $25 as well, and then each color is between $9 and $15. I think it still comes out to be cheaper since you use it less often.)<br />
<br />
If you think you might want to give it a go, I've found that while I preferred OPI regular nail polish, I much prefer the Artistic brand over OPI when it comes to gel nails.<br />
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Best of luck!<br />
<br />Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317887705338918228.post-74311328596714470072014-08-25T18:39:00.000-07:002014-08-25T18:42:45.579-07:008 Things I've Learned Since Being on a DietI've never been on a diet before. Not until 3 weeks ago when my doctor insisted that I do this very strict cleansing 4-week diet. And even though I was unhappy and overwhelmed by it, I decided that I wanted to get better, even if that meant changing my eating habits, as torturous as that is. <br />
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For someone who so often just grabs snack items because cooking is too time-consuming, especially when you're cooking for one, I was not happy to make changes. However, I think I've changed my tune. Here are some things I've learned since 3 weeks ago:<br />
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<b>It's super hard at first.</b> Mostly because you don't know what to eat when you're so limited! And anything besides a handful of carrots requires time and effort. But Pinterest and Google are your friends. With a little effort, you can find recipes that you like and that fit your diet. And with a willingness to take some time to cook and prepare and try new recipes, you're sure to find what works for you.<br />
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My go-tos?<br />
<ul>
<li>Giant chicken salads (with boiled eggs, avocado, mushrooms, carrots, cucumber, corn, and/or sunflower seeds)</li>
<li>Omelets (eggs, bell peppers, and turkey)</li>
<li>Paleo pancakes (banana, eggs, and cinnamon)</li>
<li>Fruit (especially peaches right now OMG)</li>
<li>Nuts (mainly cashews)</li>
<li>Yam fries (I don't know why everyone calls them sweet potatoes. They're yams.).</li>
</ul>
You know that feeling you get when you eat a big ol' greasy burger and fries along with a soda? That nasty heavy feeling? You don't feel that eating these things. <br />
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<b>It's kind of expensive.</b> I think I've spent a lot more on groceries than usual since I started this thing. Fresh produce, almond milk, and chicken can be kind of costly, but I'm sure I'll get better at preparing more things and shopping the deals better with time.<br />
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<b>People are supportive.</b> My friends have been understanding and not tried to tempt me. Thank you to everyone who did not invite me to The Pie. Or Chocolat. Or Bruges. Or any other delicious place.<br />
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<b>It's easier to say no when you are motivated and have a set outline</b> for what you can and cannot eat. When you are simply trying to "eat healthier" it's hard to stick with it because there are no real boundaries. And it's hard to say no to friends. The kind of diet that I am on is kind of nice because I can eat as much as I want, but only certain kinds of foods. I don't have to decide if it's worth the calories or not. If it's on the list, I'll eat it. If it's not, I won't.<br />
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<b>You're less likely to overeat. </b>When you go out to a restaurant, they give you a giant mound of food. Our societal eating habits are just bad. When you eat only what you prepare, you eat to satisfy. Plus, when you can only eat so many things, you just eat less because there are fewer options and temptations.<br />
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<b>Lots of protein keeps you satisfied.</b> I have paleo pancakes or omelets for breakfast every morning. I don't have to eat that much to feel satisfied and I don't feel starving an hour later like I do when I eat cereal. Cereal is so yummy, but it doesn't have much substance.<br />
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<b>You can lose weight</b><b><span class="st">—</span>fast</b>. I've dropped 10 pounds in 3 weeks.
That's almost 1 pound every 2 days. That is really fast. Of course, I've
been working out a lot as well, but I was doing that before this diet. <br />
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And lastly... <br />
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<b>I have a huge sweet tooth.</b> I've never wanted cookies so badly in my
life. This is one thing about the diet that is totally unsustainable. I
will probably have a cookie at the exact 4-week mark. Even though it's nice in the short term to have black & white rules, I think healthiness and weight management is about balance. It's okay to have some sweets or a burger sometimes, but it should be a small part of your diet.<br />
<br />Holly Andersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00294748818813309581noreply@blogger.com1