How to Talk to Someone Who's Venting

When someone's venting to you, their emotional state is somewhat compromised. They are seeking relief. They just want to let some words fly out of their mouth, and they want you to listen. You should take this as a compliment when someone vents to you because:

a) they see you as a deep enough friend they can trust you won't judge them for their (perhaps irrational) behavior
b) they know that you can handle them at a slightly ugly moment
c) they believe that they will find relief by talking to you

Rants can be about silly things like someone standing in a crowded doorway, the computer glitch that's giving you a twitch, or the fact that your neighbor just put a swing set in their front lawn. OR it could be something bigger like how your boss has been treating you like a nuisance or your mother-in-law invited herself over for 16th time this month. Whether it's big or small, we all need validation sometimes.

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So you're talking to someone who's venting.

Rule #1 is DON'T TALK. Do you not completely understand what your friend is trying to express? Do you want to ask some clarifying questions? Don't!!! At least not in the heat of the venting session. If you must, ask one. But that's ALL! A person who is venting is upset, angry, or simply annoyed. They don't want to be interrupted, so if you interrupt, it. had. better. be. good. Interruptions only tend to frustrate the venter more, and if that happens, they might just shut up and bottle up their feelings. Trust me, you don't want that.

Rule #2, keep eye contact. This shows that you're listening and that you care about their feelings.

Rule #3, do not exacerbate the situation. Some people tend to reciprocate the mood of others. If you respond to someone who's venting by venting in return, it's a recipe for stress. Rather than talk loudly, quickly, and excitedly with the person, just listen. Calmly nodding in understanding can diffuse a tense situation.

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Rule #4, wait. It might take a little while for your friend to get her feet back on the ground, but she will soon enough. Don't rush her. Rushing her might make her feel like you weren't listening in the first place or that you don't care about how she's feeling. She won't feel validated. So just wait. She'll get there, and if you just give her a little time, she'll feel so much better, and your friendship will be stronger.

Rant over. ;-) Thanks for reading.

Tesla Coil Music

I discovered this the other day, and it totally captivated me. Someone please bring a Tesla coil concert my way! Check it out.


Encore!

Mumford & Sons | Hopeless Wanderer

This song ROCKS! Also, this music video is great because it's parodied. Yes, the official music video is parodied. Way to make fun of yourselves, M&S. I love it.

(Just so you know, it gets a little gay at 3:30.)


Mmm. Dat banjo.

"You could be a model!"

Sometimes I hear people say "you could be a model" as though that's the highest compliment or the ultimate aspiration. I know these people mean to compliment and obviously mean no offense, but rather than envying models, truthfully, I feel sorry for them.

I feel sorry for anyone who constantly worries about their physical appearance, not just because they want to look and feel good (like everyone does), but because their livelihood and value relies on how they look. How unhealthy that would be for your psyche! No thank you!

I also feel sorry for those who are confident and carefree now, only because of their appearance, because that will fade eventually, and what then? What kind of emptiness will they feel? I heard recently that the majority of women would rather be pretty than smart. Sad. I feel sorry for those who want to attain a model body over an educated mind, and I feel sorry for anyone who thinks that models are more admirable than scientists, teachers, writers, or moms.

Our world needs models, but it blows my mind to see young women clamber for the chance to become a model and subject themselves to criticism of their outward appearance! I would never allow that. I just don't get it.

Here's a Ted Talk by model Cameron Russell delving into the topic. Enjoy hearing about her experience with the modeling industry from her own mouth.

David Archuleta with The Mormon Tabernacle Choir | The Cat and the Mouse

I watched this performance the other day and almost cried. This tune is gorgeous (I've never heard it before) and David performed it perfectly. I don't know how he didn't cry himself! Just as you think it's going to end, it becomes soft and sweet and then powerful and strong and finishes with you feeling uplifted and satisfied. Just magnificent.

D. Todd Christofferson - The Moral Force of Women

Okay, so I've been holding onto this for weeks, knowing that I wanted to put it on here but wondering how I could possibly talk about it in a way that would reflect how much I adore it. Honestly, I don't think I can. It's like everything I've been thinking about regarding women tied up in a perfect, neat, and lovely little bow.
















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Sleepy Man Banjo Boys

Oh my gosh. I'm in love with the banjo. And these boys. And their talent. And bluegrass.